No matter where I am in this great life, a little piece of each stage goes with me, scenes shifting without warning to both the good and bad. I call my life a soap opera but no one could write it on purpose. Through all the crazy twists and turns, I kept my faith that God has a use and a meaning for my life.
Each junction that I came upon, I had to make a choice.
I chose to be a nurse (although I really wanted to be a vet).
I chose to be a wife although I wanted to join the Air Force.
I wanted to be a mother, but stopped at three children (I think my sanity finally kicked in,lol)
Each of these stages both enriched my life and caused much pain.
The worse stage of my life involved getting a divorce after 28 years of marriage. The abuse of my children was the final straw in a marriage destroyed by drugs and selfish acts.
I never expected good to come from it, but I was able to finally find myself in all the things I accomplished since then. My self-esteem can still be easily bruised , but I've learned that I have value in both my eyes and those of the people who come to love and know me. I wrote this poem soon after my divorce.
Daunting images haunt my brain,
Memories sweet or filled with pain.
Who can say what lies ahead,
Changes to love, changes to dread.
A lifetime of being alone
Waiting for the ring of a phone
To bring some meaning to my life,
Now that I'm not someone's wife.
Not for me, this waiting game.
It would quickly drive me insane.
There are places to go, people to meet,
Promises made, promises to keep.
To myself, these promises made,
That I would take and fill each day
With the special joy of living.
In each day, a new begining.
Yes It can be lonely until
That special someone comes to fill
The empty spaces in your soul.
The other half to make you whole.
But in the meantime, I declare,
The choice is mine to finally share.
It is my life, I'm growing stonger.
No one's puppet any longer.