No matter where I am in this great life, a little piece of each stage goes with me, scenes shifting without warning to both the good and bad. I call my life a soap opera but no one could write it on purpose. Through all the crazy twists and turns, I kept my faith that God has a use and a meaning for my life.
Each junction that I came upon, I had to make a choice.
I chose to be a nurse (although I really wanted to be a vet).
I chose to be a wife although I wanted to join the Air Force.
I wanted to be a mother, but stopped at three children (I think my sanity finally kicked in,lol)
Each of these stages both enriched my life and caused much pain.
The worse stage of my life involved getting a divorce after 28 years of marriage. The abuse of my children was the final straw in a marriage destroyed by drugs and selfish acts.
I never expected good to come from it, but I was able to finally find myself in all the things I accomplished since then. My self-esteem can still be easily bruised , but I've learned that I have value in both my eyes and those of the people who come to love and know me. I wrote this poem soon after my divorce.
Divorce
Daunting images haunt my brain,
Memories sweet or filled with pain.
Who can say what lies ahead,
Changes to love, changes to dread.
A lifetime of being alone
Waiting for the ring of a phone
To bring some meaning to my life,
Now that I'm not someone's wife.
Not for me, this waiting game.
It would quickly drive me insane.
There are places to go, people to meet,
Promises made, promises to keep.
To myself, these promises made,
That I would take and fill each day
With the special joy of living.
In each day, a new begining.
Yes It can be lonely until
That special someone comes to fill
The empty spaces in your soul.
The other half to make you whole.
But in the meantime, I declare,
The choice is mine to finally share.
It is my life, I'm growing stonger.
No one's puppet any longer.
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dreamhaven, powerful stuff! I kinda wonder if that's what my own Mom went through, back in '74. But 28 years and then pfffffft? I can see the circumstances mirrored in my own life( abusive father, boozer but no drugs, etc. )Glad to see you've been able to rebuild your stage, so to speak :)
ReplyDeleteThanks. The one of the greatest blessings in my life is that my children turned out well.
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ReplyDeleteSorry, I bungled that last comment.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for the sadness in your life and I trust that your continued faith will see you through. You are blessed with your children and you are obviously a caring individual.
Kat
Great poem. Life is definitely made up of stages!
ReplyDeleteYou've put your feelings into a beautiful poem! Hope happy days are ahead for you! Happy TT~!
ReplyDeleteThat's a wonderful poem you wrote there. It is your life and you are strong. I hope you find what you're looking for.
ReplyDeleteHappy TT!
beautiful poem. divorce can be tough and i am watching several family members go through it now. there are some crazy twists and turns through life. sometimes the best is that we take care fo ourselves adn the ones we love. a small piece of my heart goes out to you today.
ReplyDeleteAh . .I guess without some of the negative stages in life, we can't appreciate the positives. I'm just wondering what the next stage might bring. Thoughtful post.
ReplyDeleteThat is very sad about the abuse :( My parents went through many divorces, but never because of abuse to us children! Poetry is a great way to express your feelings!
ReplyDeleteI can relate to your story only it was the more acceptable drug(alcohol). Twenty three years and I had more than enough. In my case I came out much stronger with five very successful children. Divorce is a sad thing and no one really wants to go through it, but at times it does become necessary for preservation. Life is a stage and the play doesn't always end the way we thought it was written.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking as someone who knows them, I'd have to say that one of the coolest things about your kids is that they're all individuals. So glad they've risen above any influences that could have been ingrained by the "other" one...
ReplyDeleteGreat poem and you're so brave to face your life and deal with your problems. Sometimes I'm convinced that art immitates life...maybe in your case this applies :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
Wonderful poem. And a very interesting "stage" post. I'm a firm believer that something good always comes from something bad. Keep the faith.
ReplyDeleteLovely:
ReplyDeleteTo myself, these promises made,
That I would take and fill each day
With the special joy of living.
In each day, a new begining.
Really hood poem
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